I can’t write.
I’m going through this phase right now where I can’t seem to
get myself to read or write because all I really want to do is enjoy films.
I’m sure eventually I’ll get so inspired by all this film
watching that I won’t be able to handle not writing or reading, but right now I
just watch a really great film and just kind of sit in my room by myself and
stare at the wall and think about how much I loved the film.
It’s not even that I have writer’s block, it’s that I just
don’t feel like writing.
I keep making myself go to this little sandwich shop called
Groucho’s on my day off and try to write or read, but I usually just end up
Sherlocking (and by this I mean being nosy and guessing at someone’s life) the
other people there, or listening to the conversations of the funny men who work
here or just staring out the window.
It’s nice and peaceful and I always leave full because their
sandwiches are kind of to die for, but not having been writing/reading
productive.
This is an odd phase. I can’t remember the last time I was
in one where I just didn’t feel like writing.
In other news, I’m not sure to have Adult Friendships.
Some
people who are close to being in their 30’s invited me to hang out with them
the other day. I accepted because I’m tired of sitting alone at my apartment.
We went to see a movie and then to this bar/restaurant for beers and I tried
really hard to talk about Grownup Things, but most of the time I just sat there
and smiled and listened to them talk about Grownup Things and wondered if it
will always feel awkward to have Adult Incounters.
So after this, I called up my friend Ed who sometimes still
acts like he’s in high school and we went to see the new James Bond movie and
were giggly and childlike at the movies and it felt comfortable.
When is the age where I have to have only Adult Friends and
I’m not allowed to go to the movies with a gay boy and pretend like he’s my
date and watch people look at us confused because it’s obvious he’s gay but
he’s being affectionate and giggle when the main characters of the movie start
kissing passionately because we are 8 years old at heart?
Well, everything in the world is all right when I watch this video. It's not very Grown Up, though. Oh well.
