Probably never have I so identified with anything Liz has said more than in this picture right now.
Except more like "What a couple of weeks."
I consider myself a pretty tough person. I like to think I have relatively thick skin, that I don't bite off more than I can chew, all those kinds of catchphrases.
But as I write this, I feel more drained than I have in a long time.
Physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
There's been a lot that's happened in my life the last two weeks.
I had to say goodbye and put down my best friend of 14 years.I knew her life was over a week before we put her down, which made that week simultaneously incredibly sweet and unbearable.
At the end, I stood in a room with her lifeless body wrapped in a blanket and thought surely there's no way she's gone, surely my love should have healed her broken body and kept her alive longer.
I drove 17 hours in a whirlwind two days to bury my uncle.
I felt my own sadness at the loss of my uncle, but even more so felt such a heavy weight in my heart as I watched my aunt his wife hold her head high and straighten her shoulders even as they shook from crying, and a 13 year old boy who is deathly sick himself weep over the loss of his beloved grandfather.
I've experienced my first work nightmares and had multiple dreams nearly every night for a week that the big event I am currently planning goes wrong, that I mess everything up, that I'm a failure.
When you work at a church and have these kinds of dreams, it feels like just perhaps your spiritual wellbeing is being attacked.
I love my job and have valued the last 6 months with the church, but I won't lie and say that planning my first huge event for me means wanting everything to be absolutely perfect. So having recurring nightmares about everything going wrong just means I think about these nightmares in the daylight as well.
So I repeat the phrase, "What a couple of weeks..."
And it's only Tuesday.
But as I write this, a new weird little animal sits behind me in my chair, purring and resting her paws against my head.
Her name is Cora and she's definitely an explora, and as hard as it is right now to keep going through life without my grumpy old lady Gracie, Cora reminds me that memories are a great thing to love, but there are new living breathing things that need love, too.
I also think back to yesterday after the funeral of my uncle, when we all gathered back at his house to love on each other and focus on the things right in front of us.I think about how we could smile through the grief and be happy we had each other, and be thankful for the family who came far and wide to honor this man's life.
I can't believe that it's only Tuesday.
But I will do my best to thank God for this Tuesday.
