Tuesday, February 18, 2014

'Veronica Mars' may have happened to me...

Sometimes my friends convince me to watch their favourite television shows with them.

And then sometimes I fall in lurve with a character from said television show.

And when that happens. Well. Fan fiction is written.



            Francis hoisted her bag strap on her shoulder, wondering for the hundredth time that week why their English book had to weigh approximately one thousand nine hundred and forty-three pounds.

            She stopped at the front and rang the doorbell. Logan had told her before that it was all right if she wanted to just walk straight in and back to his room, but she felt odd doing that, liked it more when he actually answered the door and walked her back. Something about really rich houses that made her feel nervous, like all the expensive furniture was going to jump out at her and bark at her for being there, as if they knew she and her aunt barely had enough money to make rent on time.

            She drew herself out of her thoughts and rang the doorbell again, thinking he was probably just playing video games with the sound up loud again. She was a few minutes early, after all.

            But after two more doorbell rings and three knocks, she wondered if he had forgotten he had told her to come over to work on their project together. She figured she could just brave it and walk herself to his room alone.

            Only the front door was locked.

            Thinking their maid must have locked it, or Logan’s crazy father was worried about fan girls finding their way in, Francis figured she could just go around back and let herself in through Logan’s parents’ bedroom patio door.

            Hoisting her bag once again on her shoulder, she trudged through the lawn to the back, planning on teasing Logan for forgetting she was coming over.

            That’s when she heard it.

            The unmistakable sound of Logan screaming.

            Dropping her bag, she raced towards the bedroom, a sick feeling pooling in the pit of her stomach.

            She stopped dead in her tracks as she felt on her own back the whip of Aaron Echolls’ belt against Logan’s bare flesh, tasting vomit in her mouth as she saw Logan’s body flinch against the pain, something close to a whimper escape his throat.

            Francis barely registered her own actions as she flung open the patio door and jumped in front of Logan’s barred back, just in time for Aaron Echoll’s next strike.

            It took her brain a second to notice the searing pain on her cheek. She took a step back, nearly toppling over if it hadn’t been for Logan, who had turned around in time to catch her.

            “Francis…” Aaron’s voice trailed off as he realized what had just happened, realized the blood beginning to trickle down Francis’ face was caused by his belt.

            “Don’t you dare touch him again.” Francis was surprised at the sound of her own voice, the low growl that came out of her throat.

            “Francis…” Aaron seemed incapable of saying anything more than her name. Backing up and nearly stumbling himself, Aaron ran out of the room, dropping the belt.

            “Frank, Frank.” Francis felt herself being spun around by Logan, his eyes growing wide at the sight of her cheek. “Oh my god, Francis.”  

            For the first time, Francis was fully aware of the throbbing under her eye. She reached up to understand why her cheek was burning, then quickly took her hands away again at the shock of pain from touching it.

            “Come on,” Logan said gently. “Let me clean it.”

            Francis grabbed Logan by the shoulder, almost shaking him. “Tell me you’re okay first, tell me that was the first and only time.”

            “Francis, come on.”

            “Logan!” Francis nearly screamed, grabbing his shoulder harder. “Tell me.”

            Logan looked down at her defeated, tears threatening to spill down his face. “No,” he said quietly.

*                                        *                                       *
           
            “This might sting.”

            Gently, Logan placed a washcloth with ointment over Francis’ cheek. Francis flinched, closing her eyes and willing herself to look tough in front of Logan.

            “I know,” he said sweetly. “It’s a witch.”

            Francis nodded no, her eyes still closed. “All good.”

            Logan chuckled before rinsing the washcloth and placing it again over her cheek. “You don’t have to be so tough around me all the time, you know, Frank.”

            Francis didn’t answer, just clutched at the sink counter, trying to think about anything but the pain in her cheek.

            “There,” Logan said after a moment, taking the washcloth off her cheek. “That should keep it from getting infected. Just make sure to keep it clean. Hopefully you won’t get a too-visible permanent scar. Tell all the kids at school you had a skating accident or something, make you look tough.”

            “A bar fight might be a bit more tough,” Francis deadpanned. “Or maybe a knife fight.” 

            “I’m sorry,” Logan whispered, too ashamed to say any more, letting his gaze fall to the floor tiles.

            “Hey,” Francis said. “Hey, look at me.”

            Looking up first at the ceiling, Logan finally closed his eyes before opening them again and looking at her, trying not to let himself go.

            “Listen,” Francis started again. “Don’t ever apologize to me again for actions you do not deserve. You could never, ever deserve what that man does to you, Logan.”

            “I know,” Logan said quietly, looking down at the floor again. “It’s just. You don’t need to get involved in stupid family drama. You’re my friend. I never meant to do that to you.”

            Neither said anything for a moment, Francis trying to figure out how to tell Logan that it didn’t matter, that she wanted to be in every part of his life, even the bad parts.

            “Why’d you do it, Frank?” Logan finally said, his voice barely above a whisper.

            “He was hurting you,” Francis said honestly. “I can’t handle anyone hurting you.”

            Logan lifted his head and looked up at her, a mix of confusion and need in his eyes. Before he could talk himself out of it or change his mind, he reached behind Francis and pulled her lips to his.

            Francis stayed still for a moment; that was not at all what she had expected him to do. But as his hands moved to her neck, holding her face in place, she felt herself slipping into him.


            Catching her up in his arms, Logan bent down to continue kissing her, hoping this actions said more than his words ever could. 


Monday, February 3, 2014

Notes from a service

I've been going to this new church the past two Sundays called Fellowship, and the pastors there have been remarkable at seeming to know exactly what I should hear.

Some of it is just too wonderful not to share:

There is no way we can ever rationalize our way to understanding God. If the base of our knowledge and relationship with God is not all about His glory - doing everything for His glory - then the rest will be easily knocked down.

God is not a giant teddy bear of love and happiness. His glory is the most powerful and fearful, but His love allows us to be with Him despite ourselves. We cannot put our human rules and regulations on God. We are the light of the world, but the light is not ours - we are a reflection of God's light.

If you come to God with a true heart, God unleashes all of Himself on you for the power of your salvation because His glory is at stake.

We were designed to be filled with passion and desire by God. But we try to be filled by our culture instead, and we will never feel full because we do not have what we were DESIGNED to have without God.

There is nothing wrong with your need for love, it is where you go to get it. We were made to impact the world, whether it's to be a singer or a gardener or a filmmaker or making socks. But it cannot be on human terms or it will never be enough. Our lives must be on God's terms.

How our culture works: !!!!!LUST!!!!!!GREED!!!!!!PRIDE!!!!!!! could be a problem...


Honest Laughter

I’d heard his laugh, the one he offered people when he was being sarcastic or didn’t know them or just didn’t care, I’d heard that one lots of times before.
But his laugh, his real laugh, that was somethin’ he kept to himself most days. Some days, though, I got lucky. Some days, he would forget to stay guarded and honesty would come out in his laugh.
It made everyone around him smile – you couldn’t help yourself. He’d pause for a minute and you could see his face relax, the protective and worry lines vanishing as his eyes changed colour in preparation.
And then his head would go back and his smile would broaded.
And then he would laugh.
It lasted plenty long enough for you to enjoy it, but you never really wanted it to end.
It was that kind of laugh.
It seemed to echo in the room after it was over.
He would keep smiling and chuckling for a bit after the laugh. Like he himself wanted to hang onto it.
But eventually the lines would creep back into his face and his eyes would change back and the honesty would be replaced with his regular cheekiness.

And then I would go back to my desk and wonder how I could get him to laugh again tomorrow.