Sort of.
My pal Delaney and I are doing a Whole30-inspired diet through the end of the year.
Emphasis on the word inspired.
I made it 17 days on a strict Whole30. I only cheated 4 times.
I know 4 sounds like a lot, especially when we're only talking about 17 days, but truly I was proud of myself by the end of those 17 days.
I lost 9 pounds.
I learned what I can endure food-wise, I learned what steps I need to take and continue to take to get where I need to be, and I learned to better deal with a food addiction.
1. What I Can Endure Food-Wise
Whole30 is not easy. Especially when you're used to eating out 3+ times a week like I was. I think I was prepared for the physical food cravings, but I'm not sure I was prepared for the mental and emotional cravings.
I cried over cheese.
Not a sentence I thought I would ever say, but whatever. It happened. The lack of not having cheese got to me, and around day 13, I found myself tearing up over not being able to eat cheese.
I craved EVERYTHING. I felt like a pregnant woman because I wanted bread covered in oreos, cheese, and spaghetti sauce.
I discovered some things I was okay with not eating, and honestly didn't even miss. I was pretty okay without pasta, most desserts, and dairy (minus the cheese).
I realized that I didn't need a big dessert, but I did want just a bite of something sweet after dinner. I had a small cheat where one night after dinner I had 2 Starbursts, and amazingly, that was all I needed.
One of the ways Delaney and I are now doing the Whole30 inspired diet is we get to pick a cheat food or two we can have during the week. Mine this week was a low-carb tortilla wrap and yes, cheese.
But even as much as I missed cheese, I discovered this week that the craving is satisfied with us half a piece of cheese on my lunch wrap.
So I'm learning the cheat things that my body really craves, and how to not give in fully to the craving, but how to eat cheat things in moderation.
2. Steps
In keeping that moderation in mind, I learned over Whole30 that cheats are okay sometimes.
I think because I've had a negative relationship with food for so many years, I sometimes go through an emotional rollercoaster with food. In the past, when I would get way too much at a fast food place, I would beat myself up internally and feel enormous amounts of guilt. Which would only make me want to eat more, because food is such a comfort. So I was often caught in a catch-22 with eating poorly.
When Delaney and I first set the ground rules for our new diet, we decided that on the weekends, we can eat how we want, in moderation of course. So the first day on the new diet, my husband and I went to Sonic. And because I hadn't had that kind of food in 18 days, I went crazy.
And I felt horrible for two days.Eating like I did at Sonic made me grumpy, moody in general, feel physically ill afterwards, and just a huge bundle of emotions for two days.
3. How To Deal With A Food Addiction
I'm glad now that we did that though because it showed me how negatively eating like that affects every part of my body and mind, not just the scale.
So while I can eat diet-free on the weekends, I can keep those two days in the front of my mind to remind me how to eat, even when splurging or cheating.
I'm not going to be perfect with my diet and food, but I'm learning to accept that.
I'm also learning to accept that I'm not 17 anymore and I can't treat my body like garbage with no repercussions.
I'm learning that homemade smoothies are a great snack that not only my tastebuds but also my stomach likes.
I'm learning that yes you can eat out and find healthy things on most menus, and I'm learning to order those instead of the loaded fries and burger that I really want.
Here's to learning.
