"Some men aren't looking for anything logical."

It's late.  And medication has been a good friend tonight.  Those are my excuses.

I don't understand a lot.  I don't pretend to understand a lot.  But I do understand the things I understand.  And I understand being used.

I understand it when you need money or when you're hungry because you haven't eaten today and you don't know if you'll be able to.  I understand it when you're jealous of fancy things or just want to get a break in life.  I understand it when someone comes along and you think they're great, but if they were just like you, you would hate them.

I understand you.  So why don't you even bother to understand me.

Understanding and caring are not one-way streets. You can't feed and replenish and help and give and love and feel on nothing in return.  We love because we're humans.  We love and I don't expect anything in return.  But you should feel the same way.

I know I have sucker written on my forehead, it's okay.  I know I've been blessed far beyond what I deserve and I've never had to worry about where I'm going to sleep tonight or when my next meal will be or if I have shoes.  I don't want you to worry about it either.

But what you don't understand is that there are other things I worry about.  I worry about being loved by someone other than my family (because they don't have a choice).  I worry about being so taken advantage of I don't have real friendships, just leaches.  I worry about getting killed tomorrow and not feeling like I've accomplished anything at all.  I worry about everyone leaving because so many people have left before.

I'm not trying to call names or point my fingers or stick my nose up in the air.  It's just two in the morning and I can't sleep and I need someone else to understand that even those who are thankful they have material possession and a family that's full of love still can need something from those who have no material possessions and no family.

In the end, my stuff and your stuff doesn't mean jack.  What we have together, the emotion and touch and compassion and smiles and trueness, that's what matters.

That I understand.

Geez, The Dark Knight at one in the morning will really do something to you.