Should I hold my beer all fancy like you?

Sometimes I think about myself when I'm 30 or 40 or 50 and I think about all the things that I could be doing and all the things I could be and all the awesome things I will achieve.

But I forget that I have to work to get those things.

I can't just expect to suddenly have a famous play on the West End. I would need to spend time in rehearsals but before that I would need to find actors but before that I would need to get a director to like my play but before that I would need to network to find people in the industry but before that I would need to move to London but before that I would need to arrange to move to England but before that I would need to save enough money to move to England but before that I would need to have graduated from at least a grad school but before that I would need to go to grad school but before that I would need to get into grad school but before that I would need to save money to go to grad school.

But before any of this, I would need to actually write a good play.

Instead I'm sitting in front of the television watching The Social Network wishing I was witty and blogging because I tried to write something and I couldn't even come up with more Firefly fan fiction.

I don't even wish I could just blink and be a playwright or casting director, I just wish I could stop having writer's block. Or at least stop using writer's block as an excuse for my laziness.

I know I just got a job and I'm getting used to be an Adult so I should probably cut myself some slack and realize that I'm working 45 hour weeks sometimes 6 days a week at weird hours and I'm trying to get myself in better shape and eat more healthily which takes a considerable amount of time out of the day. Along with trying to get used to a new town and find friends and be more than a recluse.

But I think I'm freaking myself out because I'm turning 23 and somehow in my mind that's one step away from 30 and I want to at least have achieved some kind of dream by the time I'm that old.

I hate it when my characters just want to become recluses and not do anything. Why are my characters a mirror of me? Where's the fun in that?

I hate writer's block.