"That song has emotions in it. Weird."

I love people who are in love with what they do. 

I had a conversation with my friend Bo The Trolley Driver the other day.  We talked about people who get stuck in their own lives and can't find a way to be happy in it.  I told him that I never wanted to get that way. 

I'm not dumb enough to think I'll get everything I want, or even anything I want.  I'm not dumb enough to even think I'll be half the things I think I want to end up being.

But I would like to know that I made the conscious choice to decide to do what I am happy in doing in everything.

My friend Kelsie and I had this great conversation two weeks ago and I'm still thinking about it, which goes to show how great a conversation it was.  She told me she picked the guy she is engaged to and she knows that it was her decision to marry him or not or be happy with him or not and she decided for herself what was right for her.

I want to know that even if I'm poor and living in a not-so-great apartment and don't have everything easy but I'm writing or doing what I decided was right for me, I'd be happy.  I want to know that even if I had to give up some of my own dreams because I met someone who cared enough to spend his life sharing it with me and make a worthwhile life with me, I'd be happy because it was my decision to give up to gain with him. I want to know that if I spent my life somehow changing the lives of others and that means I have to be alone, I'd be happy because I made the decision. 

 I don't want to feel stuck in my own life.  That is just pathetic.  And I think I've decided not to be pathetic.

I think Sherlock is proud of me for that.