Measuring In Songs: A Running Love Story

One more song.

I can do that.

I have to measure running in songs.

I can't make myself run for 30 minutes, but I can make myself run for eight songs.

Tonight, I bumped that up to nine songs.

I started running for the same reason a lot of people I know or have heard of started running: I hated my life.

I've been running for two years. I run a 15-minute mile on a good day, I definitely don't run every day, and I've never run any kind of race in these two years.

I run for me. Like I hope all runners do.

It takes me a good ten minutes to get into The Running Mode once I start running.

I can talk myself into going for a run pretty easily. I've noticed it's ridiculously easy to force guilt on myself and run.

Not guilt.

That sounds wrong and evil, and running is far from wrong and evil.

Motivation.

Funny how those two things get mixed up sometimes.

Tonight I spent more money than I had planned while shopping with a wonderful new friend, so I used that as my motivation.

And it worked; I got that extra song in.

But those first ten minutes.

God gets His ear yelled off during those first ten minutes.

"I will die, God. I will die. Get ready for me to meet You in person in Heaven."

"I don't know how to do this. Body, why are you weird? God, why did you make my body weird? It's your fault I'm not an Olympic runner, God."

"I want to do this I want to do this I want to do this, God, do I really want to do this?"

"My side! Oh God, my side! Why does it feel like the side of my stomach is punching me in the face?!"

Once those first ten minutes are over, I love the rest of my run.

I try not to plan out what will happen while I run. I don't run to think about anything, I make sure of that.  

I don't exactly try to clear my head, but I just let it run free.

There are only two times I let my mind run free like this: In the shower, and while running.

It's amazing to me the things my mind can come up with when it's let free.

I've come up with some of my most favourite Fictional Shorts while running.

I've thought some of my deepest thoughts, I've made some of the toughest decisions I've ever made, I've thought about the future in both broad and close vision, I've been morbid in the best ways possible, I've been full of joy and let that spill over while running through running just a tad bit faster that lap.

I'll never be a very good runner. I doubt I'll ever get past a 14 minute mile (the fastest I've ever run). I doubt I'll ever run 15 miles at once - I usually aim for 2 miles per run, 3 when I'm feeling extra frisky. Anyone who sees me run will probably always think, "Is that girl's body supposed to be doing that?"

But good Gatsby, I'll keep running.

And breathing very, very heavily while limping along.