Which, if you're wondering, is the greatest feeling - to me at least - of all time.
Jeffrey was exhausted.
But then he was always exhausted.
Nothing new there.
He knew when he signed up to be a detective on homicide cases that he was really signing up for permanent exhaustion.
What he didn't know he'd be signing up for was the loneliness.
He had always been odd, always preferred to stay away from most people to avoid their wrinkled brows and sniffs of disapproval.
But this kind of loneliness was new to him.
He knew he should be used to death as well. Nothing really shocked him anymore, but the more death he saw, the more innocent girls he saw beaten to death by their boyfriends, the more mothers he saw killed in cold blood by their children, the more gang stabbings or car crashes he saw, the more he questioned everything, including himself.
Until.
"Can I help you find a book, or were you just browsing? Browse away if that's what you were doing, I mean. Browsing is always a good way to find new books. I love browsing. But, you know, you just also looked like maybe you were a little lost."
Jeffrey looked up, slightly dazed. He hadn't been paying a bit of attention, just going from bookshelf to bookshelf, barely even seeing the titles.
But now he blinked, trying to process the girl in front of him.
She was the most peaceful looking girl he had ever seen.
Her face was simple, her clothes neat and pressed, her shoes practical, her hair nothing to speak of.
But her lips formed a beautiful, breathtaking smile. And her eyes radiated love.
Jeffrey felt like he could breathe deeply again without coughing up the muck of the world afterwards. He felt like he could be all right.
"What would you recommend?" he asked, smiling back at the girl.
She studied him for a few moments, not saying anything, just studying him, cocking her head to one side, the smile never leaving her mouth.
"To Kill A Mockingbird," she finally said.
Jeffrey couldn't help but laugh. He hadn't expected her to actually come up with a book. "Why that one?" he replied.
"You look like you could use a profound read," she began. "Something that makes you want to underline every other sentence. Something funny and lighthearted at times, but has a depth that almost takes you by surprise. Just what I got from your eyes."
Jeffrey smiled and breathed deeply again. He liked this girl.
"All right then," he said. "I'll read it on one condition."
"What's that?"
"Tell me who you are."
The girl smiled richly, then chuckled. "How much time do you have?"
"All of it," Jeffrey answered, smiling again. The girl's smile was contagious. He stuck out his hand, saying, "I'm Jeff."
"Jeff," she repeated, taking his hand gently in both of hers, stepping closer to him. "I'm Cesi. And it is a pleasure to meet you. Now let's get you that book."
Instead of just taking him over to the right section, Cesi dropped his hand and held it in hers, walking ahead of him to the right section, the whole time still holding his hand.
And somehow it felt like the most natural thing in the world.
When they got to the right section, Cesi still didn't let go of his hand. Instead, she held it up to the right spot on the bookshelf, guiding his hand over the book, pulling it out, then placing it in his hand, folding his fingers over the cover.
"There," she said gently.
Jeffrey swallowed before looking up and into Cesi's eyes.
Those beautiful, peaceful eyes.
"Would you like to talk about it? You know, once I finish it?"
Cesi's whole face broke into a smile. "I would love to."
Jeffrey closed his eyes and breathed deeply again.
He would be all right.
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